Let me start of by emphasizing that I LOVE my hair and that going natural was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. However–and I’m certain I’m not the only one–there are times where I wish I had a different texture or curl pattern for various reasons. The-grass-is-always-greener syndrome. Everyone has their own set of problems that come with having curly, kinky, kinky-curly, and even straight hair, but whenever my hair and I can’t seem to agree, I sometimes imagine my hair would be easier to wash, detangle, and style if I had a silkier texture or looser curls or my hairstyles would have more volume and my hair would be thicker and stronger if I had a kinkier curl and more coarse texture. It’s not that I don’t appreciate my own unique texture and pattern, but I do often imagine what it’s like to have a different texture and/or curl pattern and I want to talk about it on my platform without a nazi or troll assuming some level of self-hate (because you know how they do).
There are days where I would like my hair to be silky to the touch and have big S-curls or curly Q’s. Those days are usually when I struggle to tame frizz, my hair won’t stay perfectly straight after flat ironing, I get down about not retaining length, the water goes cold when I’m not even halfway done detangling, or my hair won’t hang or hold a set like I want. Why? Because I imagine that having silky, loose, big curls means I would have fewer fly-aways, my hair would be super smooth, shiny, and have lots of movement when flat ironed, it would be so much easier to retain length and fight off breakage, I could use less product and it would be easier for a comb to glide through, and my hair would always hang prettily to frame my face. Of course, in handling my daughter’s wavy-curly, silky hair, I know that hair type is only slightly easier to deal with, and while yes, I would have more bounce and swing, I would still have to contend with all of those issues to varying degrees, plus I wouldn’t be able to pick my hair out into an afro puff at whim. So after I entertain the thought of having that type of hair and then realistically consider the pros and cons, I appreciate that I don’t.
Then come the days I wish my hair was super thick, coarse, and kinky. I picture myself with a gorgeously large mane so thick you can’t see my scalp when I part it. I imagine it being so strong and resistant to breakage that it grows long and healthy. Oh and how perfectly round my afro would be and how full and big my stretched styles would look. My flat ironed hair would have a little texture to it, but it would be long and full. Then, I recall all the videos of women with that hair type who complain about not being able to wear wash-n-go’s more than every once in a blue moon because of the tangles that ensue and how long it takes to wash and detangle. I remember that the kinkier the hair, the more fragile it can be, and the more difficult it is to maintain moisture. The kinkier the hair, the more work involved in keeping it healthy and again, I find I appreciate that I don’t have that type either.
In the end, though I enjoy daydreaming about the different positives of the other hair types, I ultimately look at the cons and realize that I couldn’t be happier with any other hair type than my own. I am comfortable with my hair; I know its ins and outs and regard it as a happy medium between those two extremes. This is not to say that my hair type is the bees knees of them all, but rather to say that everyone should love what they have and it is perfectly okay to have days where you’re not so fond of your hair for whatever reason, or even aesthetically admire a different hair type as long as you love your own, individual head of hair more. The grass is always greener on the other side, but when you put yourself under the other person’s head of hair you realize you wouldn’t really want any other type of hair but your own because you love it and all its quirks. Peace & Love
Do you ever entertain the thought of having a different head of hair? Do you ultimately prefer your own or would you rather have another type? Share your thoughts below.