As Father’s Day had passed, I received many “congrats” and compliments on being a single mother that does the job of both parents. I beg to differ. I’m not both mom and dad. I’m just a single mom who was striving to get from out of the struggle mentality others were trying to force down my throat. Even as I was initially working as a temp for the company that I work for now, I pushed to make myself recognized as a hard worker. I applied for the various opportunities they had to offer without the fear of hearing “no.” I visualized any opportunity as a means to advance and the word “no” would simply be a way to find out what I needed to do to get to where I needed to be for my son’s sake. Let’s rewind a little.
My son is a great inspiration but I would not fully understand self worth until I began my natural hair journey. Even though I began it because of him, I’m still in this race because of my belief in my own beauty. Every woman that can accept herself fully for who she is when stripped down, can become more than empowered. She can aspire to everything she’s ever wanted. I had made the decision when I was pregnant, to go natural for the sake of my health and for my child’s pride. I wanted him to know mommy as 100% mom. Not the woman who spent years trying to whitewash her naps and troubled hair away. So I started to read up more fervently about my hair. How to care for it and all the other details I was attempting to understand over the years just fell into place. So I went from this
To my slow acceptance of my hair
To who I am today a year later
(The dye that I had done did a lot of damage while I worked outside. So I had my hair shaped up and now I’m keeping the sides low and growing out mostly the top into a style. I was hesitant at first but I realized to get the most from my hair I had to respect her. I had to shed the unhealthy ends and give it a fresh go round.)
So full circle I became dedicated to really understanding myself and becoming a successful, single mother. I have my small and large victories yes, but there is still much to be done. I’ve been aloof from 2KL for a while now in an attempt to give full focus on one of my short term goals. To be promoted. I do apologize for that but I managed to grasp a good permanent position with the perks that my little family definitely needed. So now with a substantial raise and benefits I’ve been less panicked at the end of the day :). We have come off of government assistance which leads to what I recently read as a quote – “welfare was not meant to be a career choice.” Keep in mind I’m not knocking the hard working moms still on it that are doing with they have to. But the ones having children to produce more revenue for themselves, and not even looking to stop just collecting a check while not working – that is what bothers me. It isn’t restricted to one shade of color either. We all have paid into it so I can understand the outrage when people see the self-entitled ones abusing the system. It’s assistance to the next step in life – not a dream job. To the single parents out there still pushing for the next best thing – chins up. You’re almost there. Because honestly single parents do have it rough but don’t see it as one person doing the job of two. Believe that your children are all that matter and at the end of the day if it works out, your other half will step into your life. But you have to be ready. And even if they never do- you have to make peace with yourself still. Come from under the struggle.